Tuesday, November 20, 2007

RDF Baby!!










1. Cle is your left.
2. The Corporal never does anything for his/her own enjoyment.
3. This is not a NATO exercise.
4. “Switch on!” Is the favorite phrase of an NCO.
5. When on the ground, use the designated toilet area.
6. Do not stroll out 20 yards in front of your bivvy and go to toilet.
7. When getting ambushed in the night don’t start screaming “Charlie’s in the trees!”
8. Likewise, don’t start yelling “The Germans are coming”
9. Velcro is there for a reason.
10. Camo up everything is not to be taken literally.
11. The NCO is always right
12. The Officer is always right.
13. When Officer and NCO contradict each other, use better judgment.
14. If the NCOs wanted us to smile they would take us down to the armory and issue us all with smiles.
15. The sheep are not laughing at me.
16. The PDF however are laughing at my marching
17. Rumors should not be believed, even if the NCO/Officer starts them.
18. There is no such thing as a half-day in the army.
19. We are on government time.
20. Being hungover on duty is a chargeable offence, if you’re caught.
21. Mass parade will be made available to all persons.
22. Mass parade will take place only if enough people sign up for it.
23. Blank ammunition can kill.
24. It’s still safe though.
25. I will not trick the NCOs into saying they are firing blanks today.
26. I will not trick the new recruits into saying that they enjoyed their camp experience.
27. Despite my own opinion, Kilworth is not a deserted wasteland.
28. Participation in the “Fun evening recreation” is mandatory.
29. The Corporal does not like to be called “Corpy”.
30. Admin is the easiest thing in the world to do.
31. If the corporal can’t find you, he can’t give you a job.
32. The best NCO is the NCO who doesn’t know your name.
33. The worst NCO is the NCO who knows your name.
34. DJ + 2 different Battalions + Alcohol + Dancing NCOs + Curfew = Funniest night ever.
35. The 7th can’t dance.
36. The 21st can’t dance, but we give it a bloody good effort.
37. Under no circumstances will the chorus to the song YMCA be replaced with “The, F, C, A”.
38. Recruits will always be looking for the keys to the square.
39. And DPM paint.
40. It is not nice to tease recruits.
41. It’s damn funny though.
42. Never call the Military Police Parking Attendants to their face.
43. Don’t ask them where their traffic cones are.
44. Never try and hi-five an NCO. It will end in tears.
45. I am not special.
46. I’m still waiting for the long weight from the CQ.
47. We’ll get issued everything we’ll ever need…………..next week.
48. The Sergeant may be god, but even he shits himself when the BSM is about.
49. The chap who asks the guard commander can he go to sleep fifteen minutes into a 24hr guard duty is not someone you can depend on.
50. Can machines in the army will break down just as you’re given a canteen break.
51. 58 webbing, despite all the CQ’s promises, zip-ties, bungee cords and duct tape will fall apart five minutes on the ground.
52. Never tell the POT’s instructors it’s your birthday.
53. If you don’t have to run, walk.If you don’t have to walk, stand still.If you don’t have to stand, sit down.If you don’t have to sit up, lie down.If you don’t have to stay awake, fall asleep.
54. The greatest motivators in the army are the promise of pay, rest, the mess and the huge PDF corporal with the 12” boot’s threats.
55. The ARW snipers aren’t people like you or me. They are moving bushes who can hide anywhere and appear everywhere.
56. When the sergeant asks is everyone having fun, the correct answer is not “Very Fun, Sergeant!”



Reference: xoxox-ashy-xoxox@bebo.com

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